how a worthless creature I am

I was useless


all I'm doing were wrong


disappearing from this world was what I wanted


disappeared for ever


without a trace


being forgotten by all those


all those who had insulted me, either because of my own fault, or because they are always so


but how to be dissappeared?


I knew if I went through on this--my life, then I can not deny the sadness which will come to me




I failed

I know

whatever I did, to fix all, did not work

I knew suicide is not the way out, I've been trying to change

those people - those who succeed and prosper and  and never had a shattered life as me told me about all the misfortunes and failures are the result of my own fault, so I changed myself, I changed my appearance,  my personality, changed everything I can... and maybe people think that I have changed my religion ...., whatever they think, I did not care, I was doing an effort!  I had this dull feeling, so I could felt confident that my change would bring a difference to the fate. allpeople do not recognize me now, when met, they asked if I was someone new in there. however, what happened then? they treated me the same as treating the way they used to treat "ME" (who I was before) 

the only way is to disappear from this world forever, but it is impossibleall what had been done will require accountability, and the situation now, I would be punished. Besides, the people and the world that made ​​me fail no matter, will not feel happy or sad when discovering I have been dead, theylooked on me only as a spoiled  trash, not the main antagonist. How pity I was! They did not care of my existence, but when they faced me, they treat me as a trash. but if I go back (to life), then the failure is waiting for me, even is being going on to me now.

after all, my feelings have been blunted,
I would REVENGE to all, people, fate, and the world that had decided by theirown will that I failed. This revenge, will not be in any bad way. I'm going to take revenge. I will be the most powerful people in this world, in the field I can master it. They are going to feel being humiliated by themselves when they see me succeed, even without me doing anything directly to them. I'll be able to change their wickedness, with my power I'll gain.

HOLD ON, BE TOUGH


posted in my nevercommittosuicide.blogspot.com and nevercommittosuicide.wordpress.com